"Edition" cars

I am a big fan of gimmicks, especially in cars. Tesla's ludicrous mode? Love it. McLaren P1 IPAS boost button? Obviously. Mustang Boss 302 Laguna Seca exhaust cutouts? You're god damn right I like it. But, in my mind, the cars that have the most gimmicks are these "special edition" cars. They have some random brand name and a bunch of exclusive goodies inside and out. These vehicles exist for one reason, to draw people in. Example:
"Honey look! This Aston Martin Cygnet Colette Edition comes with a pillow and a cool CD."
"That's why we should buy it." *spends an obscene amount on what actually is a Toyota iQ*
Anyways, I know the manufacturers tricks. I still love them, here's my rationale: In the future, where nobody has a sense of humor and cars are all gray we will be thinking about odd vehicles of old. We will be wishing our cars came with a special bicycle or our interiors were clad with denim. Cars can be so serious sometimes, its nice to see a little bit of cheese in the design. Below are some of my favorite "edition" cars.

Saab 9 5 Gary Fisher Edition: This is literally a wagon you bought from the dealer with a bicycle strapped to the roof. According to a recent Jalopnik, Gary Fisher was the creator of the modern mountain bike. You could get this car with the 2.3 liter turbo 4 and a 5 speed. So really how could you go wrong? The wagon had a special wheels, bumpers, side skirts, bike rack, and of course the bike.

1978 Chevrolet Corvette Pace Car Edition: Picture yourself in late 70s America: Disco was winding down, cars were slow, everything was brown. Coming down the street was this pointy Corvette with an anemic 350. The car made up for its dismal performance in looks. It had this great two tone black and silver paint scheme with red pace car lettering up the side. The wackiest part about this car was the interior. It was all silver! I don't think I have seen an interior quite like it.

1982 Chrysler Imperial Frank Sinatra Edition: "Fly me to the moon, let me play among the cars" was probably along the lines of what Chrysler was thinking with this one. I believe you could only get this plush pimp-mobile in blue with a blue interior. This Imperial had a digital dashboard and fuel injection, which is pretty frightening because I'm going to bet they didn't work well. This boat came with a cassette player complete with Sinatra's music.

Fiat 695 Abarth Tributo Ferrari/Maserati: I love a quality Fiat. These two are no exception. These Abarth's have been given a louder exhaust system, more power, and a paddle shift transmission. The Ferrari edition was given Scuderia stripes and wheels similar to the 360 Challenge Stradale. Yes of course it was a very Italian rosso red. The Maserati edition was a much more tame design, a deep shade of purple and wheels that mirrored those of a GranTurismo.





Dodge Dart Hang 10 Edition: "Hey dude we totally need a coupe that can fit our surfboard", and the Hang 10 was born. It sported a red and blue side tripe with a surfer. These Darts were white with a white and red interior. The seats and door panels had these crazy striped inserts. The sales pitch was that the rear seats could fold flat so a surfboard could fit in the trunk, not a bad plan.





VW Golf Harlequin Edition: MKIII VW Golfs got crazy, they had all kinds of special editions including a Bon Jovi and Rolling Stones edition. The most striking are these insanely rare Harlequin editions. The paint scheme is based on a harlequin (jester). This is so unlike the sensible Germans it has to be on the list.


AMC Gremlin Levi Edition: How could I not acknowledge this very 1970's ride? Denim blue color with some white stripes, with an out of this world faux-denim interior. The seats even have buttons and tags like the real Levi jeans. I think the story goes that AMC couldn't make the interior out of actual denim because it catches on fire too easily. Super rare, super wacky, super awesome.

What is happening to me?

I feel like Frankenstein, zapped to life by a crazy doctor. I wake up from my slumber moaning, groaning, and lusting for two cars I never thought I would. I'm afraid to even type it out....way more embarrassing than my passion for Fiats.....I'm falling in love with the Porsche 911 and Chevy Corvette. Ugh. Just seeing that in text makes me want to face-palm myself, yet I can't help it.
I'll be ok. Let me try and explain. We shall start with our old German amigo. I know the Porsche 911 is "the sports car benchmark" but god, I just didn't care about them. I would rather have had an Aston Martin V8 Vantage. I was tired of seeing them winning every comparison (I dislike the R35 GT-R for the same reason). I wasn't sold on the looks I guess, I don't have an especially good reason to hate on the 911.
 This year I have seen more beautiful Porsches than I've ever seen previously, an awesome red 964 on BBS RS wheels and a jet black 993 on BBS RS wheels. They were pretty. I really appreciate an air cooled Porsche. I thinks its because my Coronet always seems to have overheating issues and that's obviously water cooled, so if you have a turbocharged air cooled car its an engineering marvel (to me). Anyways, along with the two air cooled Germans. I've seen a 991 GT3 in blue and a 991 GT3RS wearing gray. My oh my. I've come to really love the Porsche 930 Turbo slant nose.
 I really respect that Porsche sticks with the original formula, flat engine all the way in the rear end. The designers also do a great job of adding retro items to their cars, especially the vintage 5 spoke wheels and the targa roof option. I'm a sucker for retro touches. Can we just touch on their supercars? The Porsche Carrera GT has one of the best sounding engines EVER, the high-strung V10 just wails away. It comes with a stick and has one of the prettiest shift knobs I've ever laid my eyes on. The Porsche 918 is an impressive piece of tech too. All of today's modern trends and technology rolled into one brutally fast feat of engineering. And where the exhaust exits...enough said.
Lets turn our attention to the comb over, the Chevrolet Corvette. I feel as though a Corvette is the American way of saying you make a decent amount of money and gives the owner the impression that their above the peasants among which they drive. Even if its still a C4 or C5, for some reason I still feel like people will give that driver an undeserved amount of respect. For as long as I can remember the Corvette has always come up short in magazine reviews, always bested by the German I spoke of earlier. It bothered me that America has been making the car for so long and it was shit on (understandably). C1, C2, and C3 early/very late Corvettes I have always liked. I even have the cheesiest Corvette lamp in the world, it displays a 1963 split window. You turn the lamp on by twisting a key and it  makes an engine noise. I digress. I think the Vette has a crap interior that spans 4 generations, C3-C6. My biggest gripe, by far, is the owners. They flood into car shows like swarms of bees, stinging people with their "I'm better than you" glare. They think their Corvette is best Corvette as Mr. Regular would say. The owners often throw the most random stick-on bullshit on a relatively attractive car. I've met nice Corvette owners but jeez, they're hard to find. They hog all the good spots at car shows because they have nothing else better to do (same with Tri-Five Chevy guys for that matter).
The dawn of the C7 has changed my opinion. I like the car a lot, its appointed nicely and is a genuine world competitor. A black Z06 with the Z07 package is so gnarly looking, way more aggressive than any car needs to be. Its bad ass. I was at a car show earlier this season where I watched a C6 ZR1 do a dyno pull. That car was very influential in my Corvette opinion, still a crap interior but I think I could live with it when I have 560 whp. The Corvette is an important piece of automotive history for the USA, Chevy has made it relatively achievable for people to buy. We also can't ignore that fact that the C5 brought us the LS1, ahh yes the lovely LS motor that we hold near and dear. Swap them into anything and do heaters.
So I guess that's my life now, admiring these sports cars driven by men who have daily pissing contests with their neighbors.


*Don't get butthurt*

Speed Thrills

Work was obscenely slow today, I hadn't seen a customers for hours. The clock remained motionless. I was thinking about what I would need for my future 6 hour road trip in my '66 Coronet. I realized I would need to pack the trunk with money instead of extra fluids. This awesome website claims to have specs on all cars since 1945 (I have no clue how accurate it is)! I found my MPG was a livable yet thirsty 12-14 miles per gallon. The information was moderately useful.
I explored the page more and found something I shouldn't have...1/4 mile and 0-60 times. Oh boy. My whole life I have loved car statistics, I find it fascinating how quickly an automobile can move. My poor old lady car was about as quick as an old lady in her power scooter. 0-60 was a dismal 9.2 seconds and the 1/4 mile clocked in at 16.8 at 85 mph. Yikes she was not in any sort of hurry. I never thought it felt THAT slow.
The question must be asked: Does lack of speed really sully your interpretation of a vehicle? I think the answer fluctuates from car to car. I bought the Coronet having a loose idea of what its going to be. The car is an ever evolving project. It will be fast eventually, but right now it looks great and sounds even better. I have fun driving it and when I step on it, it pushes me back in my seat a little. I know the car has only a small block and highway gears in the differential.
On the other hand, if I go out and buy a 2016 Challenger Scat Pack with a 6.4 liter HEMI I better fucking be a little scared to flatten the gas pedal. Cars advertised to be fast should be fast. Cars advertised to be fun should be fun. That's when I think the heartbreak comes, when a car does not live up to the hype. Maybe its a don't meet your hero type of situation.
I'm still going to ramble on about American cars because classic muscle cars are a perfect example of what I mean. When you think of classic American muscle you think of old men saying how they used to street race and how these cars were the fastest thing ever. Guess what....they are far from it. Take a 1968 Charger with a 440 V8, one of the most popular muscle cars of the era. I bet that car today could get taken down by a Honda Accord with a V6. Somebody unaware that times have changed might have their heart broken. I think cars are all about how they make the driver feel. Fast cars are obviously thrilling but speed is definitely not all there is.

The Drive

Tonight, at approximately 9:17 p.m., I was in a state of peace. Nothing was on my mind except for the absolute perfection of what I was doing. I was driving. My hand wrapped around the thin blue steering wheel, sun setting, and Elvis on the radio. The hair on the back of my neck stood on end. The moment was perfect, in fact, I wish I could have filmed it to watch over and over again. Very rarely do I ever feel this way driving. We drive so much that we become numb to what's around us, we drive to get to a destination, we drive to accomplish a task, we drive to get home. I think we need to drive more just to simply drive. I cannot express how happy I was a half hour ago. 

I have this funny idea that cars have to be mated with certain times of the day and landscape. My 1966 Dodge Coronet is a big blue bomb. She is not fast and does not handle. Sunday I took the car to Rochester and back on the thruway at 65 mph. That speed was too much for the old girl, the wind noise was unbearable, 70 mph felt unsafe, and I felt like I was holding up traffic. On top of these factors the car started overheating so I had to pull off on the side of the thruway and let it cool. I found it to be a stressful ride. 

The car can be driven around town or on a slower thruway but tonight I truly found it's happy place. The crisp evening air keeps the motor cool. Rural areas provide the perfect speed limits coupled with empty open roads. That being said, another car might be better enjoyed running through a complex canyon road or doing huge thruway blasts state to state. The point is, I've been driving this car for over 4 years and I just found now where it's most content. The only way one can find the perfect cruise is by driving their cars, meaningless drives provide relaxation and a good man-to-metal bonding experience. Tonight I was on my own, I didn't have to meet anybody, I didn't have to keep up with other cars, I just picked up my keys and left. Try it sometime.

Design

Let it be known, cars can still look striking. I think people assume that because of Federal safety regulations design isn't much of a choice anymore. You need to have your headlights at a certain height, air bags are necessary, and crumple zones are king. 

I drive a 1966 Coronet for chunk of the year. In the summer I almost always drive it to work. I get a lot of people saying "they don't make them like they used to." The thing is, they do and better.

A lot of people (typically older people) think modern cars are boring. I love classic cars, they have much different lines than today but you have to remember not every car in the 1960's was a '63 Corvette Stingray split window or a series 1 Jaguar E-Type. I think we forget that there were bare-bones everyday cars with just a heater for an option and four plain doors. Those cars were used, abused, and scrapped. Whats left behind are the cool cars people never got rid of.

Cars now, are safer, more efficient, faster, and last longer. There is no doubt about it. On the other hand, they are more expensive to buy and fix and more of a challenge to work on (sometimes). 

Style is not gone. Back in the 1960's (my favorite age of cars from all over the world) the average American car was pretty plain. Once you moved into the muscle car, sports car, or super car segment things got interesting. Colors were in your face, no scoop too large, no hood too long, and definitely no exhaust note too loud. These are the cars that stick in our memory. 

Pictured above is a 1966 Jaguar E-Type, regarded as one of the most beautiful cars of all time, Next to the Jag is a lowly 1967 Plymouth Valiant Signet. See what I mean? That Plymouth is very forgettable.

What cars today are beautiful?

This Maserati GranTurismo is. The Maser is a big 2-door grand touring car . Its got a lovely sounding 4.7 liter V8. You may argue that this car is too expensive, back in the day they made good looking cars cheaper. Well how about this then?

This is the 2016 Mazda 6. For less than $30,000 you can get a pretty stylish sedan (which by the way is still offered with a manual transmission). Its simple and attractive.

I will give classic cars this, modern cars are styled after them. The 911 has looked the first model for like 1,000 years. The Jaguar F-Type, another gorgeous machine, you can see a lot of E-Type in it. Any Aston Martin looks like the Astons of old. The new Fiat 124 Spider looks very similar to the old. The 2005, 2006, and 2017 Ford GT look very much like the 1966 Ford GT.

I think people are unfair to car designers. People love heritage but complain when the car looks too similar to the old. Honestly, there are plenty of modern day boutique manufacturers making masterpieces. Look at Pagani, Ariel, Koenigsegg, Noble, Weisman, etc. I don't think using classic car style on new cars is cheating. The designer is adding a modern flair to a, frankly, outdated design. People say some cars look timeless but really they still look like old cars Maybe the BASIC design is timeless. I'm talking about the long hood on sports cars, the low roof and high haunches on supers, and the square jaw of a muscle car. That isn't saying these classic cars look bad, it just means they need to be updated to capture most people's attention. We often forget that a car is just a product that is meant to make money. Manufacturers need to make money with design. I hate how that sounded. I just think the people that think old cars are the only pretty cars need to open their eyes a little.

Times change and it changes everything with it.
(By the way the original Ford GT was crazy expensive just like a modern day Zonda)

I want to road trip the Coronet

This entry won't be another "I wish I wasn't here" post, it will be a goal. It will also be a list. The goal is to drive my 50 year old Coronet somewhere far. I want to give the old girl a good birthday present, exercise the old 318 before she gets a heart transplant. I'm all about driving your cars. What is the point to buy these rad rides and storing them away? I love driving the old girl. I look up to those people who drag race their L88 Corvettes or their 1970 HEMI 'Cuda. A few months ago I was on the good old internet and I saw a one of a kind 1962 Ferrari 250 "Breadvan". This car was competing in a vintage race and got its front end a little smacked up. I have all the respect in the world for these people.

I love putting miles on my car, I love getting the looks and the "car enthusiast thumbs up". I drive it to car shows and I don't mind driving it in the rain. There is nothing better than hopping inside the Dodge around 7 P.M. when everything is cooling off and the sun is setting. I turn the radio off and I open my exhaust cutouts. Turn the key pump the pedal quickly and let it rumble. The mild cam gives it just the right idle. Gahhh I can't wait for summer.
So back to the road trip. I want to go somewhere a few hours away and test the car as well as myself to see if I can mend whatever decides to break. So what should I bring?

Fluids: I think you can never be too safe with the extra fluids. Old cars leak and drip all the time. They burn fluid and spit it too.

-1 gallon of coolant
-1 gallon of water
-2 quarts of SAE 30 oil
-1 quart of ATF+4 transmission fluid
-1 quart of power steering fluid
-1 pints of DOT3 brake fluid

Parts: The list could be immense if I was going to go somewhere days away but I'm thinking this trip will be a day at the most, so I'll need just the basics.

-Extra belt: They could blow out of wiggle off at any second.
-Thermostat and gasket: Just in case the current one decides to go, I'll be prepared.
-Distributor cap and rotor: This may seem a little excessive but they are small enough to pack away.
-2 extra spark plugs: Maybe the car fouls one out, but they are tiny so no big deal.
-Extra bulbs and fuses: Just something to toss in the glove box.
-Some extra fuel hose: You never know what a good hose can do for you.

Tools: Without tools, you might as well not even try leaving.

-Basic socket set
-Various screw drivers
-Wrenches in common sizes
-Vise grips
-Big channel-lock pliers
-Needle nose pliers
-snipping pliers
-Lug nut wrench
-2 Ton bottle jack

Extra shit: These are the essentials for any quick fix.

-Duct tape: Obviously.
-Zip ties: Duhhh!
-Gasket shellac: I love that stuff.
-Electrical tape: A useful, cleaner alternative to duct tape.
-Black RTV: The universal goop.
-A variety pack of nuts and bolts: You never know what size you'll need.
-A few large and small hose clamps: Cheap valuable little nuggets of hope.

Now that I look at this list, its pretty obnoxious. I'd rather be safe than sorry. Besides, old cars have big trunks so all of items will only take up about half. I'm ready to go, any suggestions?

The Winter Beat

As mentioned in my first blog, winter should be a time of automotive reflection and planning.....at least for petrolheads. I've been scheming. How can I waste money on my cars this year?
 I have this far-fetched idea that I can make my little, naturally aspirated Legacy wagon into a sleeper/WRX eater. I start looking for a cheap upgrade to quench my thirst. I do a little research on 2003 Legacy GT brakes. That was it! I could do a simple brake upgrade. It turns out that to do the swap all you need are GT caliper brackets (to incorporate larger rotors) and some larger, aggressive rotors. It would be something I doubt anybody would ever notice or appreciate. I would know they're there and that's all that matters. I haven't done the swap yet because I don't have my rotors, but rest assured 3 people that read this blog, it will be done.
To continue the trend of wagon upgrades I move to my secret weapon, a 2004 WRX long block! It is missing a lot of things, but the essentials are all there and assembled (block, heads, cams, rods, pistons, crank).  When I graduate college and get a real job, I'd love to start building a nice and reliable EJ205. Nothing too crazy, maybe 300 or 320 horsepower. That's plenty for daily driven fun, plus the stock internals can hold that power easily.
Next one the list were tires. My wagon needed new ones, the search on eBay was quick and painless. A set of cheap Mastercraft tires. I probably could have made it through the winter but a drive on an icy road had scared me. My friends at Mercedes-Benz were kind enough to mount and balance them for me. Now the Subaru claws through snow with ease.
By far, my best purchase was my 1978 440 cubic inch V8 for my Coronet. Holy crap is this motor cool. This is just a short block, it comes with a forged crankshaft, connecting rods, water pump housing, flex plate and pistons. Those pistons will need to be beaten out of the engine because it is seized, but that is no big deal because a set of forged pistons will take their place. The plan with this is to build it over the next few years. I'm planning on aluminum heads, mild camshaft, headers, aluminum intake and an 850 cfm carburetor. All said and done I'm hoping for about 9.5 or 10:1 compression and around 500 horsepower with some pretty aggressive torque figures. The block will definitely need a lot of time and money but that will all be worth it once I lay down some serious rubber.
That is really about it. I need to save money now because I'm broke. Hopefully with my tax return I can buy this fiberglass hood for the Coronet. Its styled after the 440-6 pack hood on the A12 Coronet. My goal is to make my '66 look like a "Day 2" modified car meant for street racing.