"Edition" cars

I am a big fan of gimmicks, especially in cars. Tesla's ludicrous mode? Love it. McLaren P1 IPAS boost button? Obviously. Mustang Boss 302 Laguna Seca exhaust cutouts? You're god damn right I like it. But, in my mind, the cars that have the most gimmicks are these "special edition" cars. They have some random brand name and a bunch of exclusive goodies inside and out. These vehicles exist for one reason, to draw people in. Example:
"Honey look! This Aston Martin Cygnet Colette Edition comes with a pillow and a cool CD."
"That's why we should buy it." *spends an obscene amount on what actually is a Toyota iQ*
Anyways, I know the manufacturers tricks. I still love them, here's my rationale: In the future, where nobody has a sense of humor and cars are all gray we will be thinking about odd vehicles of old. We will be wishing our cars came with a special bicycle or our interiors were clad with denim. Cars can be so serious sometimes, its nice to see a little bit of cheese in the design. Below are some of my favorite "edition" cars.

Saab 9 5 Gary Fisher Edition: This is literally a wagon you bought from the dealer with a bicycle strapped to the roof. According to a recent Jalopnik, Gary Fisher was the creator of the modern mountain bike. You could get this car with the 2.3 liter turbo 4 and a 5 speed. So really how could you go wrong? The wagon had a special wheels, bumpers, side skirts, bike rack, and of course the bike.

1978 Chevrolet Corvette Pace Car Edition: Picture yourself in late 70s America: Disco was winding down, cars were slow, everything was brown. Coming down the street was this pointy Corvette with an anemic 350. The car made up for its dismal performance in looks. It had this great two tone black and silver paint scheme with red pace car lettering up the side. The wackiest part about this car was the interior. It was all silver! I don't think I have seen an interior quite like it.

1982 Chrysler Imperial Frank Sinatra Edition: "Fly me to the moon, let me play among the cars" was probably along the lines of what Chrysler was thinking with this one. I believe you could only get this plush pimp-mobile in blue with a blue interior. This Imperial had a digital dashboard and fuel injection, which is pretty frightening because I'm going to bet they didn't work well. This boat came with a cassette player complete with Sinatra's music.

Fiat 695 Abarth Tributo Ferrari/Maserati: I love a quality Fiat. These two are no exception. These Abarth's have been given a louder exhaust system, more power, and a paddle shift transmission. The Ferrari edition was given Scuderia stripes and wheels similar to the 360 Challenge Stradale. Yes of course it was a very Italian rosso red. The Maserati edition was a much more tame design, a deep shade of purple and wheels that mirrored those of a GranTurismo.





Dodge Dart Hang 10 Edition: "Hey dude we totally need a coupe that can fit our surfboard", and the Hang 10 was born. It sported a red and blue side tripe with a surfer. These Darts were white with a white and red interior. The seats and door panels had these crazy striped inserts. The sales pitch was that the rear seats could fold flat so a surfboard could fit in the trunk, not a bad plan.





VW Golf Harlequin Edition: MKIII VW Golfs got crazy, they had all kinds of special editions including a Bon Jovi and Rolling Stones edition. The most striking are these insanely rare Harlequin editions. The paint scheme is based on a harlequin (jester). This is so unlike the sensible Germans it has to be on the list.


AMC Gremlin Levi Edition: How could I not acknowledge this very 1970's ride? Denim blue color with some white stripes, with an out of this world faux-denim interior. The seats even have buttons and tags like the real Levi jeans. I think the story goes that AMC couldn't make the interior out of actual denim because it catches on fire too easily. Super rare, super wacky, super awesome.

What is happening to me?

I feel like Frankenstein, zapped to life by a crazy doctor. I wake up from my slumber moaning, groaning, and lusting for two cars I never thought I would. I'm afraid to even type it out....way more embarrassing than my passion for Fiats.....I'm falling in love with the Porsche 911 and Chevy Corvette. Ugh. Just seeing that in text makes me want to face-palm myself, yet I can't help it.
I'll be ok. Let me try and explain. We shall start with our old German amigo. I know the Porsche 911 is "the sports car benchmark" but god, I just didn't care about them. I would rather have had an Aston Martin V8 Vantage. I was tired of seeing them winning every comparison (I dislike the R35 GT-R for the same reason). I wasn't sold on the looks I guess, I don't have an especially good reason to hate on the 911.
 This year I have seen more beautiful Porsches than I've ever seen previously, an awesome red 964 on BBS RS wheels and a jet black 993 on BBS RS wheels. They were pretty. I really appreciate an air cooled Porsche. I thinks its because my Coronet always seems to have overheating issues and that's obviously water cooled, so if you have a turbocharged air cooled car its an engineering marvel (to me). Anyways, along with the two air cooled Germans. I've seen a 991 GT3 in blue and a 991 GT3RS wearing gray. My oh my. I've come to really love the Porsche 930 Turbo slant nose.
 I really respect that Porsche sticks with the original formula, flat engine all the way in the rear end. The designers also do a great job of adding retro items to their cars, especially the vintage 5 spoke wheels and the targa roof option. I'm a sucker for retro touches. Can we just touch on their supercars? The Porsche Carrera GT has one of the best sounding engines EVER, the high-strung V10 just wails away. It comes with a stick and has one of the prettiest shift knobs I've ever laid my eyes on. The Porsche 918 is an impressive piece of tech too. All of today's modern trends and technology rolled into one brutally fast feat of engineering. And where the exhaust exits...enough said.
Lets turn our attention to the comb over, the Chevrolet Corvette. I feel as though a Corvette is the American way of saying you make a decent amount of money and gives the owner the impression that their above the peasants among which they drive. Even if its still a C4 or C5, for some reason I still feel like people will give that driver an undeserved amount of respect. For as long as I can remember the Corvette has always come up short in magazine reviews, always bested by the German I spoke of earlier. It bothered me that America has been making the car for so long and it was shit on (understandably). C1, C2, and C3 early/very late Corvettes I have always liked. I even have the cheesiest Corvette lamp in the world, it displays a 1963 split window. You turn the lamp on by twisting a key and it  makes an engine noise. I digress. I think the Vette has a crap interior that spans 4 generations, C3-C6. My biggest gripe, by far, is the owners. They flood into car shows like swarms of bees, stinging people with their "I'm better than you" glare. They think their Corvette is best Corvette as Mr. Regular would say. The owners often throw the most random stick-on bullshit on a relatively attractive car. I've met nice Corvette owners but jeez, they're hard to find. They hog all the good spots at car shows because they have nothing else better to do (same with Tri-Five Chevy guys for that matter).
The dawn of the C7 has changed my opinion. I like the car a lot, its appointed nicely and is a genuine world competitor. A black Z06 with the Z07 package is so gnarly looking, way more aggressive than any car needs to be. Its bad ass. I was at a car show earlier this season where I watched a C6 ZR1 do a dyno pull. That car was very influential in my Corvette opinion, still a crap interior but I think I could live with it when I have 560 whp. The Corvette is an important piece of automotive history for the USA, Chevy has made it relatively achievable for people to buy. We also can't ignore that fact that the C5 brought us the LS1, ahh yes the lovely LS motor that we hold near and dear. Swap them into anything and do heaters.
So I guess that's my life now, admiring these sports cars driven by men who have daily pissing contests with their neighbors.


*Don't get butthurt*