The Demise of the Station Wagon

The SUV has always been lingering, massive transporters with toothy grills and presence. They have clutched the family car title from the station wagon and even the minivan and is now finishing them off. They slowly crush the throats of the claimed lesser vehicle.

Why oh why? The dawn of the SUV reigns supreme as night falls upon the will-be-missed wagon. It is unfortunate. I loved wagons and I'm sure others are with me.

Station wagons do something great for car enthusiasts.They are great for the person that drives people around or have families. They still feel like cars. Much of the zest of driving a good car is still left when you buy a wagon. It is just a bit longer.

Its too bad.

Maybe SUVs seem more fashionable these days. They are expensive and are bought by famous people to get carted around in, insert Range Rover Sport. Cadillac just unveiled a new CTS and CTS-V and have stated that no wagon will be made. Yet they still produce the lumbering Escalade. C'mon Caddy. Make your Escalade in peace but please offer a CTS-V wagon. Enthusiasts loved having a manual wagon packing the punch of an LSA.

Some could argue that wagons just don't have the space of an SUV. Think back to the Buick Roadmaster wagon, perhaps one of my favorites (white with wood grain please). It had three rows of seating, the farthest row looked out the back. So no excuses, space can be made.

It seems like Europe only makes wagons these days, called estates. They are popular over there. Maybe they're roads are better suited for them instead of huge SUVs. Thank you Germany for the ludicrous Mercedes Benz E63 wagon and Audi for the RS6. Two AWD monsters that could dust most sports cars out there. Volvo has and still do make lovely wagons that prove to be bullet proof and usable. Thank you Jaguar for the XFR-S Sportbrake, a machine that sounds like an F-Type but can carry your family and dog. Subaru has been making the Outback/Legacy wagon/Liberty for a lifetime, keep it going please.

America please. I beg of you. Dodge, bring me back the Magnum but with Hellcat motivation. GM, I need a Caddy wagon with LT4 power. Chevy, take another Australian chassis and build a great driver's wagon now that you have killed the SS.

Wagons end up doing everything that an SUV can. They are faster, better looking, and some can be just as capable off road. SUVs have their place but should not take over, wagons need to be popular again. After all, they carted families everywhere back in the day. From Florida to the drive-in. Chances are you were made in that wagon at the drive-in. Appreciate them.


   

Honda S2000

I'm a die-hard muscle car fiend. I don't think anything can change that. The brute force and noise they deliver is something unique. You already know the shtick-loud, fast in a line, V8 yeahhhh!, America even more yeahhhh!!!, burnouts-that kind of thing. You can't approach a drag strip without hearing fat men mumble about the 8-71 blower on that Camaro's 396. 

Despite my affection for such industrial machines I've always had a passion for other kinds of cars (aka super cars and fast station wagons). When I was younger I loved pick-up trucks, I wanted an orange 1953 Ford F-3. When I was in my younger teens I started to form an vague opinion on cars. I loved 60's muscle cars. I wanted a 1969 Cutlass or a 1979 Camaro Z28 more than anything. I was an idiot though, I actually thought once that a 1970 Charger R/T was faster in every way than a Nissan 300ZX with a VG30DETT (twin turbo V6). I was a typical muscle car douche bag.

Fast forward a few years. I had been driving my '66 Coronet for some time. I got a good feel for what it lacked and what was perfect about it. It is slow, steering is vague, and the ride is uncontrollably roly. On the other hand it looks terrific, sounds amazing, and is very comfortable. 

Anyways, my eyes were opened to the flaws of old American cars. For some reason I picked up an issue of Import Tuner Magazine at the local grocery store. Inside those lovely pages was a write up on a 1991 Nissan 240SX. It struck me. A lovely deep blue sitting low on gold wheels. It was a typical build with a SR20 motor. Goddamn was it pretty. It peaked my interest in cars from the foreign land of Japan and I read more and more about these cars.

Now, I have friends that both have a Honda S2000. Let me tell you, these cars are something special. I don't want to say they are often overlooked because that would be an insult, but it seems like every time people see them they are surprised.

They are relatively unusual. Not too many were made in their production run. People are always after the massively complicated twin turbo FD RX-7 or unobtainable Supra. What about the perfect little, naturally aspirated Honda? 

After my first ride in one I was sold. It was a black 2004 S2000. The way it revved, the way it shifted was just eye opening. The first S2000 I drove was a silver 2001. I hit 9000rpm......9000rpm. I'm used to my lazy V8 calling it quits at a very diesel-like five grand. This 2.0 essentially revs twice as much and twice as quickly. Fuck all the VTEC jokes on the Internet. Unless you drive this car you don't understand. VTEC in the F20 or F22 is real. You can feel it engage. I was shocked at how good this engine was. Anyone can used forced induction to make their engine powerful but it takes a special sort of science to make a perfect naturally aspirated engine.

When I grabbed the shift lever I was astonished at the lack of play. I'm used to my donkey Subaru five-speed. This was so precise, it was nicely weighted, the gates were close. The ride was firm but comfortable. It was a very reasonable car to drive. The steering is nice and tight. The weight of it, spot on.

The S2000 can hold its own and be even better than the new lot of sports cars. Mazda and Toyota/Subaru make a good product but they're both missing something. The MX-5 Miata is quick but wallows through the corners. The FRS/BRZ has rigid handling but isn't as quick as it's looks would lead you to believe. An S2000 does it all. Plus you're under the Honda reliability umbrella which keeps you dry from the tears of other unreliable sports car owners.

The S2000 is a car I won't soon forget. It is definitely the best car I've ever driven. This car has the power to unleash the inner JDM fanboy in us all. It truly affected me. One day I would love to own a Spa Yellow AP1 S2000. #bahhhh-VTEC-BWAHHHHHHH

The most powerful accessory

WHEELS can make or break your ride. No amount of low can fix these three spoke wheels on this VW Corrado. A car this rare deserves a set of quality wheels. Look to the 1969 Super Bee above. Stock in ride height but look at those jewels in all four corners. American Racing Torq Thrust wheels. Perfectly suited for it. 

Yes, wheels are expensive. They come in and out of style. The Torq Thrusts will always look good as will a set of BBS RS's. Here is a list of perfect wheels for all types of cars:

 American Racing Torq Thrusts: Timeless and will forever look good on and classic piece of American iron.

American Racing AR500: A resized version of classic Magnum 500 wheels. These look good on classic and modern muscle.

 BBS RS: A perfect wheel. These look exquisite on everything, from Civics to 911s. Very pricey because they aren't produced anymore, but an absolute treat of a wheel.

 Wantanabe RS: These wheels will forever look good on any classic JDM vehicle. 

 Rotiform Nue: A simple five spoke design. I love the look on bagged German rides. 

 Volk TE37SL: This is the perfect color combo for this wheel. These are at home on modern JDM machines.

 Vossen VVSCVT: Throw these wheels on any luxury liner and feel confident in your looks, it doesn't get much better than these.

 Enkei RPF1: Another universal choice for any modern car. Good for track use, lightweight and strong. 

 HRE P101: It's hard to top wheels on super cars. They're already good looking. These HREs are an exception. They elevate the style of many super cars attached to them. 

 Detroit Steel Wheels: Over-sized steel wheels that can't be beaten. They look at home on old rods.

Mechanical Sympathy

I think there are people in this world with a mental rev limiter when it comes to vehicles. You know deep down things could fail at any point. The people with that mental limiter would think of that and back off the throttle a little, people without would Fred Flintstone their foot through the floor and push on.

I am one of the rev limited people. I see people at the local race track launch their Subarus and I cringe waiting for the transmission to go KABOOM. My friend used to have a five speed Civic EX. That poor, poor car. It was beaten relentlessly. To my surprise, it never quit. The Civic was slammed on Raceland coilovers. My favorite memory was pulling into a steep driveway at about 20 mph and feeling the floor crumple underneath my feet. Great car. He bounced that little 1.7 liter on its rev limiter for minutes at a time. I know I couldn't do that. I don't have the balls to not give a shit and beat on my car.

My daily driver is a 2003 Legacy wagon (dubbed the daddy wagon). It isn't a race car and I know this. I have never launched it once. My friend with the Civic had, the first and only time that car has been and will be he was the pilot. I cringed in pain imagining the stress on the axles and transmission.

My project car is a 1966 Dodge Coronet. Its got some upgrades to its lazy 318 but I beat on her a every now and then. After a summer filled with drag races and burnouts she started to limp. Something is going in the transmission (maybe the bands) it lurches forward when you begin to drive. That's what I get, I decide to romp on it a little but and I get a wounded tranny.

I know another guy who shall remain nameless and car-less who had us going 111 mph in an older vehicle. He had some big gonads, let me tell you. That car ran like a top at 111, it was quiet, controlled, and did not overheat. Once again, I could never do that for fear of engine eruption.

I wish I could be one of those people who don't give a shit. I might enjoy cars a little more if I got to take them to the limits. I just feel bad when I beat the hell out of them. In the movie War Horse, World War I soldiers had to use horses to haul their machinery and they worked them until they died. Instead of that I like to use them in kinder ways. Maybe I'll let off the gas at 5000 rpm and keep the head gaskets healthy in my Subaru. In some ways, I think my car thanks me for it. Maybe in the winter, my battery doesn't die. It would be the car's way of saying, "Hats of to you chap for not beating me senseless."  Reward it with oil changes on time and throw some goodies at it, a new shift knob or a bath. I believe in karma and all that, so automotive karma maybe? Treat your car as you would want to be treated.

What I really want to do today.

Today is just not a great day. Nothing happened, but that's just it, nothing happened. Its barely the afternoon and I already know today will be boring, filled with the same zest as an early 2000s Silverado interior. I know things could be worse but I just feel like dreaming a little bit so deal with my whining.

I woke up this morning too early from a weekend that was too filled with work and ate a donut that was far from great. Now I sit at school in the basement of a library wearing a hoodie that is too short which also keep me too warm for my own comfort. I want to be elsewhere.

This is what my weekend should've been: I wanted to be flying into Walt Disney World on Friday night. That night I would dine at the Coral Reef restaurant in EPCOT, watching the fish through the aquarium glass. After dinner my queen, Lolana (a beautiful Suicide Girl whom I am NOT dating), and I would watch the fire works in the Magic Kingdom. Saturday and Sunday would be spent traveling through all the parks and eating pork shanks and turkey legs. The parks would be at quarter capacity and the wait times for rides would be minimal. We would have a great time.

Sunday night we would have hopped on a flight to my house in California (instead of my actual home in Buffalo). My 1966 Dodge Coronet would be at that house. I would have swapped out the slow 318 and 3 speed automatic for a 440 cubic inch V8 and a Tremec 5 speed manual. I would be so happy.

Monday morning I would roll out of bed and Lolana would have bought me the cutest puppy and they would be making me some eggs and bacon. My nose would lead me to the kitchen to see the beautiful sight. She would sit me down and The Fast and The Furious would already be playing followed by Jurassic Park.

After a great movie session I would make some chicken salad sandwiches and toss some NOS energy drinks in a classic Coca-Cola cooler. We would pack up our beach equipment into the trunk of my Coronet. Me, Lolana, and our puppy walk out into our massive garage and hop in the Dodge. I turn the key and the feral roar of the big block wakes up the neighbors. Fuck em. I put her in first and roll out of the driveway. I launch the beast and lay down rubber like a champ. The street never stood a chance.

Our drive through town would be filled with thumbs up and "atta-boys". We arrive to the Pacific Coast highway and I accelerate until I hit 120mph. The rest is windows down, easy cruising. I pull off the road onto a secluded beach. Our puppy yelps with excitement as do I, nobody is on the beach. My feet hit the warm, white sandy beach. We pitch our picnic blanket and relax until sunset.

Once the sun goes down its time we head out of there and to the local 1/4 mile drag strip. All my friends are there and they're all excited to see me. A loser in a Mustang challenges me to a race. Chump. We both did the smokiest of burnouts and staged up at the lights. Yellow yellow yellow GREEN. I dump the clutch and stand on the throttle. The mighty V8 roared all the way down the track to run my fastest time ever, a 12.7 second quarter mile.

I beat a few other Mustangs and Camaros that evening before we headed home. On the way home I look to my right to see the the puppy passed out on my girlfriends lap, behind them the lights of the city glisten, the scent of the ocean breeze passes through the open window. I'm at peace, that was the best Monday I could ever ask for.

We rumble back into my large garage filled with various other project cars. I tell myself I need to finish plumbing up the turbo on my FD RX7 tomorrow. We walk through the door and there is my sweet, sweet grandma standing there setting the dinner table for me. She made my favorite meal, Polish city chicken with angel food cake for dessert.

With my stomach full I wander to my feather bed with a thousand pillows on it. I fall into the deepest sleep somebody could without dying. The mattress absorbs me and its light out. Too bad its still Monday and I'm not doing this. Despite the reality check, that moment of imagination perfection leaves me feeling a little better.

America: Where Dinosaurs Rule the Land

First, I want to make a distinction between muscle cars and pony cars. Muscle cars are mid to full  size (two door) vehicles with a massive V8 engine, strong transmission, and a heavy duty rear end. They are are made for going fast in a straight line. Pony cars are smaller cars that can be performance oriented, they also tend to handle better. A 1968 Dodge Charger R/T is a muscle car, a 1968 Pontiac Firebird 400 is a pony car. Technically the 1964 Barracuda was the first pony car but since the 1964 Mustang was so popular it took that title and made the name, pony car, for this genre of vehicles. In 1970 the Challenger was a little late to the pony car party but still made an impression seen today. 

Everybody calls the Challenger, Mustang, and Camaro muscle cars today. I will follow suit and still call them that as to not throw anybody off, but just know they were originally pony cars in the past.

Now that the "I know better than you" comments are done with we can get into the cool stuff. Big. Fat. V8 engines.

Horsepower runs rampant in the world. I love it. America is no exception. Just a few days ago the Tesla Model S P90D came out with 762 horsepower! A Cadillac can be bought with a 640 horsepower Corvette engine. Oh yes times are good.

Look at the big three muscle cars of our time, super-muscle cars if you will. The Dodge Challenger Hellcat, the deal of the decade (sorry GT-R). For $60,000 you get 707 horsepower and has a top speed of 199 mph. The Ford Shelby Mustang GT350R has a flat plane crank V8 that revs to 8200rpm same as a 2nd gen Honda S2000. The Chevrolet Camaro Z/28 has one of the largest production engines ever in a car, a big block 7.0 liter out of a C6 Z06 Corvette.
All three of these cars represent America in their own way (and all look like some people here).

The Hellcat Challenger, I remember hearing about how it was going to have around 600 horsepower. The day the official figures came out, I shit you not, I nearly shed a tear. It was a glorious day, the hefty Challenger was always being outrun by more nimble cars, now it had the power to conquer. It sure is a heavy car, weighing in at 4450 lbs. If Dodge could put it on Nutri-system it would be an even better performer. This car can turn corners, but it doesn't have the fancy magnetic shocks that the other cars have. I will argue it is a track car but for a different kind of track, a drag strip. With slicks it will run a 1/4 mile in 10.8 seconds according to the NHRA and Chrysler. Without, Chrysler says it stays in the low 11 second range. Motor Trend pegs it at 11.7 with the 8 speed automatic. The Challenger can also be had with a lovely Tremec six speed out of the Viper.

The Challenger is also extremely vintage. This vehicle looks much like the original Challenger. The center console and automatic shift handle design are very similar. Dodge even gives you retro colors like B5 blue, Torred, and Sublime green. The legendary HEMI also maintains its original HEMI orange color we love so much. That  transmission also has a very cool and vintage name, called Torqueflite. It dates back to the late 50s when Chrysler first came out with heavy duty transmissions. Their best automatic transmission they had to offer back in the day was the 727 Torqueflite three speed. It was a sturdy, capable, aluminum cased unit. You could hook them up to a 440 or the 426, it could take it all the power.

Compared to the Ford and the Chevy the big Dodge looks more reserved. It doesn't have any crazy chin splitters or big wings. Its got a chiseled jaw. Its like Clint Eastwood, look at that glare you would not want to mess with him. Its a classic design that will always look great. Even though the exterior may seem minimal the car is all about excess. Its a massive car that can run with the best of them.  Its got a 6.2 liter V8 with a supercharger. That supercharger is 2.4 liters (the size of their largest engine you can get in the Dart) and screams a high pitched melody.  Tires are the enemy, fuel is it's Gatorade.

Where the Challenger shows Americas flexed muscles the GT350R is the brave new idea. It's V8 is very unusual to find under the hood of a muscle car. Its got a flat plane crack that takes away the classic burble. The Ford is a screamer, the new crank allows it to rev higher because of how well its balanced. All the way to 8200 rpm the Mustangs howls like a wild animal. The engine even has a cool name, Voodoo. Its the smallest of the three but makes the second most horsepower, 5.2 liters and 526 horsepower.

Have you noticed those wheels? Oh yes, those are made from carbon fiber to cut down on un-sprung weight. It also has a six speed Tremec gear box but one that is all new to Ford, its a lighter alternative to the Hellcat's box. This car is all about the race track, the name is comes from Carroll Shelby's first Mustang racers that had the high revving 289 and a close ratio 4 speed. This new Shelby like the old has no back seat. This Mustang easily creams the Boss 302 Laguna Seca. The independent rear suspension and clear power advantage is the culprit. It can match the Challenger's 0-60 at 3.7 seconds but performance trails from there (compared to the Challenger, its still brilliant), the 1/4 mile is dealt with in the low 12s.

Out of the three cars, this looks the most sinister. It has that psychotic enraged smile on its face. Almost like the Joker. When I saw it i thought of Johnny Tran from The Fast and The Furious right when he hit the NOS and smoked Jesse's VW. It looks nice and evil, the perfect car for Halloween.

The last car on this list is the Camaro Z/28. It may seem like somewhat of an underdog. Its actually just a great collection of all the best bits of Chevy. The suspension is from the CTS-V and Corvette. The engine is the LS7 from the Z06. The chassis is from the Chevy branch in Australia. The wheels are only available on the Z/28 and are wrapped in massive tires, 305 mm in all four corners. Once again this is a focused track car.

I love that you can get it without a radio or A/C! Such an old school muscle car move. It rockets to 60 in 4.0 seconds and runs the 1/4 mile in low 12s as well (12.3). Lets talk about the power plant though. That 427 cubic inch lump is special. Its hand built by Chevrolet. It has dry sump oiling and revs to 7000 rpm. This is an old school V8, OHV (over head valve) power! Good old pushrods and 16 valves doing what they do best. Its all naturally aspirated making 505 horsepower and 480 lb ft of torque. That power is instant and carries through the entire rev range.

Stopping is another thing this car can do exquisitely. Stopping from 60 takes only 97 feet. That is right up there with Corvettes and 911s. You pay a pretty penny for all of this too, it starts at $72,000. Think of it as an investment, the Z/28 is only around for 2 years and only a couple thousand will be made. This is the last hurrah for the final year of this body style before the 2016 comes and changes everything. Its a tribute to the last generation of GM performance cars the last Camaro, the Z06, and the manual CTS-V. Their greatest hits album.

America can stand proud knowing that these cars are safe and sound laying down burnouts across the land. These cars are meant for fun, they were built by car guys for car guys. Anytime I see any of these the hair on my neck stands on end. V8s rule and always will, muscle cars are here to stay.

A season of sadness with a dash of potential

If you live in the wonderful, northern portion of the United States you know what time it is. Yes, do not be afraid, but be aware winter is on its way! Unless you want to end up like the guy on the left, its usually a good idea to put your special car away. Summer tires, carburetors, and convertible tops don't bode well in the harsh winters, especially where I'm from in Buffalo, New York. People with classic cars, I understand they can be driven and were driven and are currently driven by people in the snow, but come on do you really want to subject your machine to such salty and moist conditions if you don't have to? People with more modern specialty cars (S2000s, Challengers, C63s, etc.) your cars could run pretty well in the winter but to extend the life of your vehicles, do yourself a favor and stow it away. Here's a list of some easy things to do to get your vehicle prepared for hibernation:

• Find a garage or a quality temporary car port
• If possible, cover the floor of your garage with plastic. It prevents any moisture from the concrete to find it's way to the floor boards, frame rails, and pesky bolts of your sleeping beauty.
• Make sure your engine's coolant has enough antifreeze in it. Too much water and the coolant could freeze, causing your block to spit out it's freeze plugs or even crack.
• When you put your vehicle away it will most likely have gas in the tank. Winter conditions last at least 4 or 5 months (where I'm from). Modern gasoline will lose its potency as time passes. A fuel stabilizer can help maintain your gasoline for up to a year. There are some products out there that even help prevent moisture within a metal fuel tank.
• It may be valuable to take your car's battery out especially if the garage is not heated. If a battery freezes, the lead inside will crack making your battery ineffective when the warm weather comes. A battery today is not cheap, they generally cost $100 or more.
• Pump your tires up. If your car sits for a while your tire could become flat in that spot just from sitting without rotation. When driven again the tires could feel lumpy. Nobody likes lumpy tires.
• Wrap it up like a burrito. A good car cover is invaluable. Just as you like that North Face jacket of yours, a car likes to stay protected. I always throw extra covers and blankets on it just to make sure its out of the elements.
• Put some poison around the garage to exterminate those unpleasant animals that love to eat carpet, wire, and seat cushions.
• Something I always do is tape up the exhaust pipes. A gross little creature could crawl in there and live. 
• Give it one last kiss goodnight. 

It sounds like such a sad process. It doesn't have to be! Start planning on what can be modified for next season. Cars are ever evolving and there is always something to do to it to make it fit your style. Start researching that big engine build or which coil overs will give you the least amount of ground clearance. Spend the time to really think out your next move so that when the time comes around that you can take it out and start wrenching. I find you can really appreciate your car more when you haven't driven it in a while. You re-kindle that lost affection after busting your knuckles on stubborn strut bolts or getting that lovely speck of rust in your eye. 

Fiat 500 Abarth

I'm not ashamed to say that I love the Fiat 500. Its one of my favorite cars. When I saw the Disney movie, Cars, I asked my dad what kind of car Luigi was. He told me it was a Fiat 500. I never really heard much about Fiats or cared about them again until I was watching Top Gear many years back and I saw Jeremy Clarkson romping on this tiny little car.
It was white with the red Abarth rocker stripes and red side view mirrors. It looked absolutely perfect especially with the optional 17" wheels on it. Ever since that episode something clicked inside my head where I just started loving Fiats. Some call me crazy for my large passion for such a small car. I get it and I admit there are better, faster, more reliable, cheaper, practical cars out there. The Fiesta ST is about the same price (or slightly cheaper) and way faster. Its been praised for its handling over the past year. I think its a better built car and it has more doors. If I had to buy a new car I would probably buy the Ford just for peace of mind. Which would I rather own? the Fiat.

It sounds odd, I know. I'm a very cautious auto enthusiast. I bought a front and differential skid plate for my Subaru Legacy wagon because I put lowering springs on it and didn't want ice chunks to hurt anything. I'm way more passionate about that cute, little, possibly unreliable Italian gem.

First off have you ever heard one? Its exhaust is largely unrestricted and its as raspy as a smoker's cough. It grumbles and sounds feisty, like it has way more than just 160 horses.
The SPORT button actually does something! When you press it, it tosses 20 more lb-ft of torque at you for a total of 180.
It has two baby intercoolers at each corner of the front bumper (just something I find cool).
The scorpion badges are a pretty mean little detail.
You can get them in obnoxious Ferrari and Maserati special editions that are way to expensive but still cool. (Speaking of special editions the 1957 Fiat 500 is beautiful in the original pastel colors and over sized steelie wheels.)
If you can't afford an Abarth, Fiat will sell you a 135hp 500 with a de-tuned Abarth engine. This model also gives you the Abarth front bumper (minus the scorpion).
When else can you buy something cheap and Italian that will work for a little while?
The car is very retro which is very cool right now.
It has a little mustache!
Finally, its a car with character. Often overlooked, it won't be as fast as the Fords or Volkswagens but it doesn't have to be. The Abarth will be your faithful companion with spunk.

The Lazy Board

I understand some people can't help themselves, a new "thingy" comes on the market and it's a must have item. A new iPod perhaps, or the latest "Talking Elmo". For some odd reason companies are coming out with these self balanced, electric moving platforms. Very similar to a Segway, all you do is stand and lean in the direction you want to travel. They have no handle bars, just two wheels on a flat board with electric motors and sensors. If you think you can fall off easily you would be correct. They have minimal ground clearance, they don't go up inclines well, and they can be tricky to mount/dismount.

Granted these "hover boards" are quicker than walking most seem to have a top speed ranging from 6-13 miles per hour which is faster than I thought. A 3 hour charge gets you between 9 and 13 miles. There are only 3 benefits of these boards that I can come up with; they will get you somewhere faster than walking, some boards offer Bluetooth speakers built in and if you have a physical disability I suppose these could be of assistance.

But come on people is this it has come to? We can no longer continue walking to class or taking strolls through the park without the aid of electronics? These contraptions weigh in at more than 20 pounds. So when they run out of juice, you have to carry it around. If you are on rough terrain or steep inclines you have to carry them around. You stand on them with a wider stance so they aren't exactly ideal for cruising through narrow gaps or heavily crowded areas.

One may think the price is reasonable until they roll next to a mirror and realize they look like complete dorks, the boards light up and flash. Not that the rider will actually pay attention, they're too busy using their cell phones or doing something hipster-ish.

What does this mean for weight gain? How does this promote anything good? This pretty much takes the body's easiest function and makes it even easier. Hopefully when the next generation of children are born they will just be taught how to stand and take two steps. Screw the laborious process of learning to walk or run just hop on one of these bad boys with flashing bright blue lights, blaring Skrillex. School yards will be filled with hover boards playing tags or cops and robbers.

So far I've seen a few people who actually use these. A kid in my town using it to cross a street  and a guy on campus. Brave, brave individuals they are. I really hope hover boards die out and can be laughed at 20 years down the road like every piece of 1980's exercise equipment.

I liked walking the way it was before. But if you decide walking really isn't your thing anyways you'll be happy to know bicycles still exist.