The Lazy Board

I understand some people can't help themselves, a new "thingy" comes on the market and it's a must have item. A new iPod perhaps, or the latest "Talking Elmo". For some odd reason companies are coming out with these self balanced, electric moving platforms. Very similar to a Segway, all you do is stand and lean in the direction you want to travel. They have no handle bars, just two wheels on a flat board with electric motors and sensors. If you think you can fall off easily you would be correct. They have minimal ground clearance, they don't go up inclines well, and they can be tricky to mount/dismount.

Granted these "hover boards" are quicker than walking most seem to have a top speed ranging from 6-13 miles per hour which is faster than I thought. A 3 hour charge gets you between 9 and 13 miles. There are only 3 benefits of these boards that I can come up with; they will get you somewhere faster than walking, some boards offer Bluetooth speakers built in and if you have a physical disability I suppose these could be of assistance.

But come on people is this it has come to? We can no longer continue walking to class or taking strolls through the park without the aid of electronics? These contraptions weigh in at more than 20 pounds. So when they run out of juice, you have to carry it around. If you are on rough terrain or steep inclines you have to carry them around. You stand on them with a wider stance so they aren't exactly ideal for cruising through narrow gaps or heavily crowded areas.

One may think the price is reasonable until they roll next to a mirror and realize they look like complete dorks, the boards light up and flash. Not that the rider will actually pay attention, they're too busy using their cell phones or doing something hipster-ish.

What does this mean for weight gain? How does this promote anything good? This pretty much takes the body's easiest function and makes it even easier. Hopefully when the next generation of children are born they will just be taught how to stand and take two steps. Screw the laborious process of learning to walk or run just hop on one of these bad boys with flashing bright blue lights, blaring Skrillex. School yards will be filled with hover boards playing tags or cops and robbers.

So far I've seen a few people who actually use these. A kid in my town using it to cross a street  and a guy on campus. Brave, brave individuals they are. I really hope hover boards die out and can be laughed at 20 years down the road like every piece of 1980's exercise equipment.

I liked walking the way it was before. But if you decide walking really isn't your thing anyways you'll be happy to know bicycles still exist.